Sanders Campaign Advisor Blabs Strategy on Train

By Eric Beasley

At a Miner Detail, we have not talked much about the primary contest between the senile socialist and the traitor. Not because we don’t care, but because most of the stories are well covered by the national media.

But every once in a while, an interesting source of information comes our way. You’re in luck, today is one of those days. An anonymous source was sitting on a train next to someone who works on the Bernie Sanders campaign. Being oblivious to their surroundings, just like a standard #FeelTheBern-er is to facts, logic, and math, they were spilling the beans on upcoming campaign strategies. Here’s a nice little list for you:

Sanders wants to “take out the Israel parts of the platform.” Last I checked, the DNC platform supported the two-state solution (Israel and Palestine) and there has been some Democrat grumbling about pre-1967 borders. Interpret this as you will.

Sanders wants to add a transgender amendment. No surprises here.

The Sanders campaign will be doing 3 advertisement purchases in Northern California in conjunction with 3 celebrity endorsements before the California primary. Considering that to the geographically inclined, “Northern California” includes San Francisco and San Jose, I would venture a guess that the advertisements will be in that market, along with some purchases further north, like Chico and Redding. Lot’s of old hippies out that way that would delay their bong hits to #FeelTheBern.

They believe this has turned into an “outsider’s race” and that “we have all the cards.” Of course, they believe this, because they forget that Sanders has held elected office longer than I have been alive.

Their data shows that Bernie will be able to beat Trump in the general election.

In standard liberal fashion, the Koch Brothers were mentioned multiple times. I was unable to confirm if there was any frothing at the mouth. Sounds like Sanders wants to amend the DNC platform to ban “big money” in politics. Obviously, this will apply to unions as well, right?

He’s not quitting. They will continue campaigning in all 50 states. The campaign strategist specifically mentioned that they would be in the Virgin Islands.

PROTIP: If you are working on a campaign, especially in an advisory capacity, keep your mouth shut. Especially on a train, when a bored Republican is sitting in your area. Use a little common sense. Do not talk about campaign information in public that you would not post on your website or social media.

About the Author

Eric Beasley
After a year fighting bears and chopping wood in the forest, a Cancer has emerged in Frederick County. The only way to kill Cancer is with fire, and casting a ballot.

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