Posted By: Ryan Miner
May 5, 2020
HELP WANTED
- Effective leadership sought on behalf of 650,000+ Marylanders;
- Must be at least 25;
- Agrees not to join a cult and will not defend liars, racists, sexists, xenophobes, sexual predators;
- Partisan hacks need NOT apply;
- Will not discard every last shred of dignity in defense of drinking bleach as COVID-19 remedy;
- Will not pick unnecessary fights with popular governor;
- Understands discernable differences between America, “Communist China,” and “North Korea;”
- Pledges not to exploit COIVD-19 outbreak in shameless publicity stunt ;
- Recognizes Chesapeake Bay preservation, understands environmental protections aren’t fake news;
- Believes that women and only women, not their religion, pastors or priests, should dictate the terms of their bodies;
- No sign-on bonus; insurance plan is included; benefits include working from home;
- Must be able to commute to Washington, D.C.
- Serious inquiries only.
- Send a resume and cover letter to the people of the 1st Congressional District.
