HELP WANTED: Effective Congressman Needed Immediately in Maryland’s 1st Congressional District

Posted By: Ryan Miner May 5, 2020

HELP WANTED

  • Effective leadership sought on behalf of 650,000+ Marylanders;
  • Must be at least 25;
  • Agrees not to join a cult and will not defend liars, racists, sexists, xenophobes, sexual predators;
  • Partisan hacks need NOT apply;
  • Will not discard every last shred of dignity in defense of drinking bleach as COVID-19 remedy;
  • Will not pick unnecessary fights with popular governor;
  • Understands discernable differences between America, “Communist China,” and “North Korea;”
  • Pledges not to exploit COIVD-19 outbreak in shameless publicity stunt ;
  • Recognizes Chesapeake Bay preservation, understands environmental protections aren’t fake news;
  • Believes that women and only women, not their religion, pastors or priests, should dictate the terms of their bodies;
  • No sign-on bonus; insurance plan is included; benefits include working from home;
  • Must be able to commute to Washington, D.C.
  • Serious inquiries only.
  • Send a resume and cover letter to the people of the 1st Congressional District.

 

 

About the Author

Ryan Miner
Ryan R. Miner, MBA is the founder, editor in chief, and senior reporter of A Miner Detail, the Maryland investigative journalism publication he launched in April 2015. He hosts the A Miner Detail Podcast, distributed across Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and seven other platforms. A native of Hagerstown, Maryland, Miner holds a B.A. in political science from Duquesne University (2008) and an MBA from Mount St. Mary's University (2020). He teaches at Frederick Community College. He is also the founder of Sentinel Silver, LLC, Maryland's first older adult technology institute, and the publisher of The Senior Soup, a Maryland senior advocacy platform. His longer story is at ryanrminer.com. Reach him at Ryan@AMinerDetail.com or (240) 244-7075.